Dialogue Garden
“Dialogue is not a means for assimilation in the sense that one side expands and incorporates the other into its ‘self.’ We want to allow what is good, beautiful, and meaningful in the other to transform us.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
I have always been searching for the deeper layers in life.
Growing up in efficient and organized Switzerland, I followed the path I thought was expected of me, earning a Diploma in Commercial Education. Yet I felt deeply unhappy – and guilty for it. Didn’t I have everything what I could wish for? Shouldn’t I be happy? Conflicted and lost, I struggled secretly while remaining very functional and sufficiently ‘successful’ in the outer world.
Things began to shift in my early twenties, when I set out to see the world for myself. I discovered my love for the ocean and became a scuba diving instructor, which let me wander through South East Asia, deepening my connection to nature and myself. I still carry vivid memories: living on a remote Philippine island, steering a sailboat under a full moon from Singapore along Malaysia’s coast to Thailand, diving into uncharted waters to explore possibilities for a new diving school, and so many more adventures. Further on, my journey brought me to India, which opened another completely new world to me. I found a spirituality that I didn’t know I was thirsting for so deeply. I traveled up and down the country, which left me full of gratitude and appreciation for the richness and fragility of our lives.
My path has taken many more turns since, and along the way I worked at an airport in Switzerland, raised a son and moved to the Netherlands 15 years ago with my then-husband. A major challenge was facing the unexpected terminal cancer diagnosis of my partner, whom I found later in life. He passed away less than six months after the diagnosis. Holding myself during this time of crisis, and allowing others to hold me too, was essential for continuing on my path.
Over the past years, I studied extensively the works of Marshall Rosenberg’s nonviolent communication and completed a mediator’s training based on his principles. I was struck by the different approach to conflict I experienced in these courses to what I was used to.
It’s very liberating to me to move away from thinking about who is right and who is wrong in conflict. Instead, the focus becomes finding the needs behind the parts that get so triggered and hurt in a conflict. This approach gave me a whole new blueprint on how we can live together with more connection and understanding and it has helped me develop an inner compass that I am trusting more and more. I’m clearer about my own values and am eager to explore with others new ways of holding community.
With a deep care for our living planet and all its inhabitants, I am committed to contributing to a world that works for everyone.